May 2011
179 posts
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tumblrActivity = life ? false : true;
life; // true
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ETA < 12h
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I’m panicking about the wrong things… I hate this state: withdrawn and regressed. And I can’t shake it. I don’t want anyone near me right now. :( I was offered a hug, but I said no.
Regression…
Regerssion…
Recerssion…
Recurssion…
Recursion.
I can’t even… fuck.
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ETA < 24h
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5 people in the appartment
And I feel lonely.
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I haven’t played games with my friends from Quebec in way too long…
Where the fuck are you guys?
mmblerggg asked: He had autoplaying music!
He was an asshole.
He was an asshole.
dangerousnevil asked: hey :) my tumblr got deleted some how so i had to start over today..you were already following me so might as well jsut follow me again haha this is all ive got so far but follow me and ill make that shit fire again aha
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Fucking scope creep! Burn it with fire!
alastairss asked: Hey! No problem, it's an awesome graphic.
I just have this dream team-up between Marvel's The Punisher and Sam Fisher lol. Someday!
I just have this dream team-up between Marvel's The Punisher and Sam Fisher lol. Someday!
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200h in
And I kind of don’t want to work on this project anymore…
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Zend_Http_Client
I’m surprised they don’t trim the string for the URI. This has been the cause of my USPS and Magento headaches.
Wow.
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I have my friend back!
Because he finally sat down and talked about everything. He admits he went way overboard with things. We’ve come to an agreement about the situation: he understands that I couldn’t talk to him because I didn’t trust him and I understand I should have, despite my lack of trust.
Major stress, anxiety and depression factor removed. Now to work on getting back into doing 40h a week.
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Reasons why I stopped playing HomeFront(SP)
Church
Infinite spawns
Even on Normal it’s stupid
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As suggested by my therapist, I got some information from the police. Paul can’t just pick up and kick me out. :)
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Talk to Kelley. She’s being a good friend. I’m very happy she’s there. Told her about how Paul has been behaving. How he’s been talking down to me. How he’s threatened my life on multiple occasions. How next time he does so, I might have a knife to his throat.
And I’m not the one for violence. But it seems you desperately want me to be.
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mmblerggg asked: You're going to make me go through your tumblr, because this Paul guy sounds like an asshole.
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jakesmumbles
I hate to say this but I’d get out of there asap. This is just ridiculous that he’s threatened your life in a non-joking manor two times. :(
Working on it. I might have a place when I fly back from California since the building manager is being extremely kind to me. If I don’t however, I might be stuck for a bit more; since I’m Canadian, my US background and credit...
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Stop trying to impose yourself. I don’t take threats very well. You have a gun. I’m about to buy a blade. I don’t do fist fights.
It’s sad to see how immature you are about this ordeal. Were you like this to Blake? To any other of your friends? Were you so power hungry you would sabotage anything to put yourself above them?
I get I broke your trust by saying things to...
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Second Life Threat
Paul: If you ever get angry at me again, Jon, I'll kill you.
Me: Thanks, Paul.
Paul: [Goes on insulting me as I walk down the stairs]
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Common side effects might include insomnia…
That’ll be a nice thing to play with.
Going to bed now.
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I get anxious.
mymotherkillstheblackbird:
So I go for late night walks to calm down.
I then become convinced that every single person I come across is going to rob me, beat me, and kidnap me.
So I become more anxious.
And when I do get safely home I feel too anxious to calm down.
So I need to go for another walk.
Vicious cycle.
Topped with paranoid thoughts of highly improbable and violent scenarios the...
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From Friends to Foes
Paul: [Something something about trust and threatening me]
Me: [Rage trigger, I become violent and leave for a walk]
Paul: [Via text] is your immature temper tantrum over yet?
Me: Paul, don't talk to me about maturity and trust.
Paul: Like you broke my trust and stabbed me in the back you fucking bastard.
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People are fucking in my bathroom.
Fantastic.
I cannot wait to get out of here.
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Creeper out of fucking nowhere...
That’s a nice everything you have there.
And I die.
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I was wondering why I loved Dr. Hattarras so much in the new season of United States of Tara. Then I figured out it was Eddie Izzard.
Fuck Yea!
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Alone at the office.
Time to be strong and get work done.
Thank-you for the inspiration.
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oberlinpenguin
6 days until I can take you to Hooters in San Francisco?
If that’s something you want to do, then certainly. I’ll most likely be in recovery from my complete isolation so I won’t exactly be up to flirting with strangers, if that’s what you want to do. :p
We’ll see when I land. :) I think I’ll be torn in 3-4 when I arrive and try to figure out...
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6 days until I disconnect from this life and plug myself directly into a real one.
6 days of fighting this depression in hopes of actually being productive.
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Hugin / Autopano-SIFT-C / Stereographic Projection
This is failing miserably…
Hugin works although I can only create cylindrical panoramas and not the equirectangular panoramas I need.
All the tutorials I have read are outdated. I’ve spent hours looking this up. The few people that have it working are either using obsolete versions of the software or don’t want to share how they got it perfectly.
I can get it to somewhat...
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I feel I’ve been neglecting Minecraft a lot of things.
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Wellbutrin
150mg/day.
Tis all.
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In the great words of Yami Bakura
I don’t care.
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Psych appointment tomorrow morning. Energy drinks now. Coding at midnight.
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This is ridiculous… Of course there’s a billion and a half tweaks that can be made to the website. There always is. Can we please wrap this up so that I can move onto other client work and projects? We’ve already post-poned everything by a month because of touch-ups…
I hate bleeding project end dates and working scope creep.
shareascare asked: i like your blog, please check out the first anonymous social network support group at www.shareascare.com and join a community like no other, made up of individuals going through similar things as yourself or become a friend/supporter of somebody that may really need your companionship, or simply help us spread the word about our message that no one has to be alone...thank you!
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mister unpopular's masterpiece theater: having... →
vaccerelli:
Lack of love is a curious thing.
After a certain point it becomes notable. Like you can feel it missing — a tooth knocked out, a finger chopped off, a cloud abruptly leaving a hazy blue space in the sky. When you lose someone important it’s like losing a limb. A massive and painful loss….
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Thought I was doing better, but here I am, disconnected. Not waking up anymore.
oberlinpenguin
My Skype is acting up as usual. which is why I’m replying here. Your blogs make me really worried about you and your situation. We need to talk soon. I need to know you’re alright.
I can keep Paul in check. I can also move out and find a temporary place if need be. I simply have to deal with my paranoia, which is, quite frankly, highly irritating.
Before you know it, we’ll...
jakesmumbles
Damn. That’s all that comes to mind at this point. You are definitely not the one who is wrong here. Irregardless of the fact that he was once your friend doesn’t give him teh right to just help himself to your stuff. That’s messed. Sorry Pal :/
Thank-you for the kind words.
We’ll see how things go for the next week.
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To: Paul
I wake up to you entering my room and grabbing my laundry detergent. You told Kelley you’d just take mine. I opened my eyes and told you “No, that’s my detergent, I bought it. You’re going to have to use your own.” I was calm, simply stating a fact. What is mine you cannot have. What I expected was going to be an irritated sigh and placing my belonging back turned out...
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Paul is supposed to sit down with me and talk about why he did things. Honestly, I couldn’t care less why he did them. It’s not really going to help at this point, just as long as it doesn’t happen again.
Oh and I’m supposedly going to get punished as well for breaking HIS trust and telling his fiancee the TRUTH? I don’t quite think so…
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Looking at vintage nude photography(Alfred Cheney Johnston) makes me realize how distorted our perception of the perfect female figure has become. What I find was once health and character has now been replaced with glamour and sex.
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You know you're nerd...
When identifying Nelix(Voyager) and Tucker(Enterprise) from Star Trek in different roles in completely different television series. I just totally had a nerd moment in The Mentalist season 3, episode 9.
Like, joy nerd moment. :D
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